Found You
My father once told me, after I had a fight with a friend at school, that all I needed in this world was one best friend, anything more than that is a blessing. I never really understood it until my 30’s rolled around. In my younger days, friends were a numbers game, the more the merrier and the more options we had, the more flavors of fun awaited us.
When I moved abroad and friends became far and few in between, I made a best friend here in Korea, an Irish lass I love to death, and it was only after she left that my father’s words really hit me. “You just need one best friend. Not a Sunday goes by that I don’t wish I could meet her halfway for a coffee.”
But my “best friend story” starts in first grade. In fact, I found my first nemeses who became my bestie for life. The girl who is 70% of all my childhood memories. My best times and co-conspirator in every naughty deed we did. The first one at my door when my boyfriend died in a car accident. The woman who stood right next to me when I got married and sat with me on the sidewalk when I had too much to drink after my divorce. We were each other’s first calls when tragedy and good fortune struck. She is the easiest love I have ever known.
But my dad said, “Anything more than a best friend is a blessing.” So let me be the first to tell you, the friends I have made and kept during my 42 years, is an absolute embarrassment of riches.
They are the friends that dry my tears AND tell me the truth knowing I don’t want to hear it. The ones that jump on google to find you what you need when hard times befall you. The ones that cheer me on even though they are going through their own challenging times, and vice versa. The friends that will get up at crazy o’clock to be there for you in your hour of need. The one that makes you laugh out loud and sits with you in silence. That that goes on romantic vacations with you, because why not? Or that just meets you halfway for a Sunday coffee.
The friend who sits with you on your kitchen floor and sings drunkenly into a wooden spoon, because you just got divorced and that is the appropriate behavior. That friend who ALWAYS just knows when you are not 100% ok and reaches out. Magically. Whose kids just love me because they see their mother love me in a way that everyone wants. The friend who starts “Why-not-wine-Wednesdays” with you because she knows, I need company and connection. The friends who check in, who can go silent for months and we just pick up where we left off. The ones who do quick check-ups and deep dives, belly laughs, spiritual sharesies and always end up crying with you, all in one call or visit. The friends who make sure I know, I am not alone, and I am loved so deeply it truly is an embarrassment of riches.
I am honored to say. I lucked out with the ladies.
I am a women loved by warriors who draw a fleet around me when I don’t have the strength to go on. Wise young souls who see my beauty when I am too damaged to see it myself. Who lets me sit on a heap just long enough and then lifts me up and gives me the strength to go on.
These friends came into my life at different and perfect times. My first year of elementary school. My first year in university, who allowed me, no, encouraged me to let my freak flag fly. My friends I made in Cape Town, who stepped into the hard truth of adulthood with me and yet made it fun. And last but not least, my friends from Korea, who opened me up to a world so beautiful, I can never ever be the same again.
I was feeling lonely and sad one day. Sitting on my sofa, I haven’t spoken to a soul all day. Suddenly the daydream of having all my close friends here with me in that moment filled my heart with so much love, joy and gratitude. I grabbed my pencil, and this little sketch called “Found You”, found me.
This piece is a love letter to the women who are my everything. To whom I say “Found you. Love you. Always.”
You’ll know when you find that person. Make sure you never let go! And if you have two or three … you my friend are blessed beyond words.
Live, love, laugh, let go and light up the world in your own unique way.
Love, Always
Ané
PS: Like my wise father once was, so am I too surrounded by strong women who love me gently and protect me fiercely.
